Judgement

Today when I decided to read one of my Mindful Ritual Cards, the card I pulled read: "Replace judgment with curiosity." This really fit my day because today I had a conversation with a woman and her two daughters about racially fueled words. This family has been through so much that most people do not understand or know about. Their looks, behavior, or attitudes do not tell their story. They are a family of 7 that includes mom and her six children. They have recently experienced homelessness and are finding their way out of some challenging situations. The discussion today was with two of the daughters and mom. One of the daughters is in high school and is black. She made some new friends this year that started using the N-word. The daughter did not feel comfortable with this nor does she use this word. She explained to her friends that the word makes her uncomfortable and the reason is because of its meaning. Her belief was that her friends may not understand the meaning of the N-word especially since they were Hispanic. Rather than understanding their friend and the hurt they caused her, they escalated it and continued to use the word even more. The daughter went to the school administration for support and they chose not to address it. I truly think the daughter did an amazing job of replacing judgment with curiosity. She talked to her friends, explained her feelings, and listened to her friend's reasonings. She led with curiosity rather than judgment. She went to her friends with an educational intent rather than one of judgment. It did not go her way, but she handled it with grace and grit by self-advocating with curiosity rather than judgment.